Baby Blues or Baby Reds?
I knew, for almost 40 weeks, that the month of May 2012 was not going to be a typical May in the life of Jayme. I knew there would be laundry to do, dishes to wash, food to prepare, flowers to water, a garden to plant, and chickens to feed. I also knew there would be a very small yet very life altering addition to the family. Because I KNEW these things were coming I have spent the past 5 months organizing, planning, rearranging, and scheduling my life to accommodate this month of May 2012. Well, now this month is here and I’m feeling a bit unorganized, unplanned, and unscheduled. The problem isn’t that I have a new baby to take care of, the baby is great! She sleeps, she eats, and she poops just as any 2 week old kid should do. No, the problem isn’t the baby but my own mental state of mind. Maybe I have a bit of the baby blues. I feel tired (more emotionally than physically) and I definitely feel that my patience is wearing thin, but these are issues that should easily be cured with a large cinnamon roll and a root beer freeze. More than likely I am suffering from a case of the baby REDS (I’m not being productive and my mind is in rebellion!).
Only weeks after I started dating my husband Logan he started calling me ‘Red’. For those who don’t know what I look like, I do NOT have red hair (although I wouldn’t mind…). The name ‘Red’ came from the classic Hartman Personality Profiles that categorize people into four colors; red, blue, white, and yellow. My ‘redness’ levels are apparently so high it doesn’t take long, even for perfect strangers, to classify me. I remember taking the tests in high school to determine ‘your color’. My class mates were making comments like, “Oh, I’m mostly blue but I have a lot of yellow in me” or “I’m totally yellow, except the part of me that is white”. I don’t remember making many comments to my neighbors stating that I was so completely RED they could have added a picture of my face to the red section in the text book.
So what does it mean to be red? Well, first of all it means I’m naturally a crappy mother and wife. Luckily I recognize this so I can work really hard to act outside my natural inclinations. Red personalities are almost always defined as being the Power Wielders. We tend to be unemotional, task oriented, decisive, logical, and horrifically independent. We may insist on being right and often come across as harsh or critical even if we don’t mean to be. We like to plan things out and be the leader. We are terrible listeners. All of these traits are working in contrast to my life as a wife and mother. What husband wants to be with a wife who is unemotional? What child wants a mother who never listens?
I have always made my life work by creating a detailed and strict schedule to ensure everything gets done. Now, with a new baby in my arms my emotions are surfacing, my schedule is inconsistent, and my motivation to accomplish the typical tasks in my life is dwindling. These are NOT good issues for a Red personality to be dealing with. Or are they?
As I think about the relationship I have with my husband and children I realize they don’t always benefit from my schedules, to do lists, and independent notions. They really just need me, no strings attached. Me to go on walks, me to read books, me to kiss owies, me to watch soccer games, me to build Legos, me to dress dolls, me to drive race cars. These are things I have been failing to properly accomplish during the rushed preparations of the past 6 months. But now that the deadline is here, the baby has arrived and summer is just around the corner the time has come to be better at the things a red person hates to admit they aren’t good at. After all, recognition of our faults is the first step towards recovery, right? Heres to more hugs and kisses, more fun, more tickles and giggles, more freedom, and a whole lot less yelling and high expectations.
Are you curious to know what personality type you are? Here is a quick summary of the Hartman Personality Profile.
Reds: The Power Wielders
Reds are the power wielders of the world. Reds use logic, vision and determination. From a Red perspective, emotion has nothing to do with completing tasks.
Red Strengths Reds are: Action oriented, Assertive, Confident, Decisive, Determined, Disciplined, Independent, Leaders, Logical, Pragmatic, Proactive, Productive, Responsible, and Task-Dominant.
Red Limitations Reds often have to be right. They may come across as harsh and critical, even when they don't mean to. Reds can be cheap. They may tend to give priority to work over personal relationships. Reds may be poor listeners. They can also exhibit controlling and domineering traits.
Blues: The Do-gooders
Life is a sequence of commitments for blues. They thrive on relationships and willingly sacrifice personal gain. Blues are highly demanding perfectionists. They can be distrusting and worry prone. They are complex and intuitive and can be very opinionated. Blues can also be emotional and moody. Blues can be self-righteous and insecure and can also be very self disciplined and sincere.
Blue Strengths Blues are steady, ordered and enduring. Blues love with passion. They bring culture and dependency to society and home. They are highly committed and loyal. They are comfortable in creative environments. They strive to be the best they can be.
Blue Limitations Blues are the most controlling of the four colors. They are insecure and judgmental. Lacking trust, they find themselves resentful or unforgiving. They often fail at seeing the positive side of life. They want so badly to be loved and accepted, constantly seeking understanding from others while often refusing to understand and accept themselves.
Whites: The Peacekeepers
Motivated by Peace, Whites will do anything to avoid confrontation. Their only demands from life are the things that make them feel comfortable. That feeling fosters their need to feel good inside.
White Strengths Whites are kind, considerate, patient and accepting. They are virtually devoid of ego. They are good at constructing thoughts that did not exist before, just from careful listening and taking time to think things through.
White Limitations Whites don’t commonly share what they are feeling, understanding or seeing. They won't express conflict. Whites may be unwilling to set goals. They dislike working at someone else’s pace. They can be very self-deprecating.
Yellows: The Fun Lovers
Yellows are motivated by Fun. They are here to have a great time.
Yellow Strengths Yellows are enthusiastic. They are very persuasive. They are spontaneous in nature. They are always looking for something new to do.
Yellow Limitations They develop friendships with ease but can be very self-centered. They often have lots of friends but on a superficial level. Their self-centered nature blocks them from forming meaningful relationship.